Bicycles are traversing dimensions now more than ever, says Cyclo-chronologist Adam E. Ifnot, of Brighton, England. “It’s no secret that bicycles defy rules of logic – anyone who’s read [Flann O’Brien’s novel] The Third Policeman knows that,” said Ifnot in a recent interview. “But I’m particularly interested in the effect which time travel has on today’s bicycles.”
Ifnot provided theboucher.com with photos which he says bear irrefutable evidence of bicycles’ time travel. “See how the back wheels are twisted like that?” he said. “We’re seeing more and more bicycles like these, which were damaged in the corridor between one dimension and another. The whole bike twisted, and some complication occurred.”
“I don’t know anything about any time travel,” said the red bike.
“What year is it?” said the blue bike.
As one of only a few cyclo-chronologists in the world, though, Ifnot’s determined to understand what’s happening to these bikes. “If I’m doing my job correctly,” said Ifnot, “these bikes will pave the way for other bikes to travel through time without complication.”
And then, finally, we can get out here – pedal our way to a kinder, sunnier, less-complicated dimension than this one.